A Writer’s Life: The Real Secret Is There Is No Secret.
Back in the 2000’s, it was a trend to have those black metal word cutouts hanging on your wall. I had a bunch of them. Dream. Believe. Imagine. I may even have had the old standard of “Live, Laugh and Love” at one time. I did. I had one.
Most of them are gone now, but I do still have a “Dream” hung above the guest bed, and an “Imagine” to hang up on my writing room wall once I get it painted and cleaned out.
I think they’ve become cliché in the years since, and most people have probably packed them up and sent them to Goodwill. I don’t think the words have gone out of style, just the idea of having them hanging on the wall. I think that if you get used to seeing something hanging on your wall, you don’t really see it anymore, and it loses it’s luster over time.
The intention, though, never goes out of style. And intention is a very important thing.
Many years ago, when I was living in Wisconsin and had just gotten my Netflix account, back when streaming didn’t exist, and you got DVDs in the mail, I ordered a movie called “The Secret”, based on the book of the same name by Rhonda Byrne. I was not in a good place in my life. I did have a job I loved, but I was struggling financially, paying off debt from the marriage I was still trying to escape from (it’s hard to have him sign papers when you can’t find him), I was not dating, and I didn’t have any friends local to where I lived. I was looking for a way out of the hole I’d found myself in, and from what I had read, “The Secret” was “uplifting and life-changing”.
I needed both.
The movie is impressively done, no doubt. It’s not so much a movie as it is a 2 hour long discussion and “user’s guide” to what is commonly referred to now as the Laws of Attraction. There’s no Secret. No drugs to take, no courses to buy. There is only you and your mind, and a decision to change how you think. This is where that intention comes in to play.
It is both easy and hard. Both frustrating and freeing to be able to tell yourself that you’re going to be positive-minded today and be grateful for everything that comes your way, good or bad, because even bad things coming your way have something to teach you.
I bought a couple of books after watching the movie. I read them. And I tried to start incorporating them into my life on a daily basis. Some of it felt hokey. But some of it stuck. And those things, I still practice today.
Being open to possibilities is the first. Allowing myself to believe that something good can happen to me at any time. Many, many people are born knowing this - and others are taught by parents who believe it. That is not my experience, and so this is something that I had to work on for quite some time.
If you think about it like this, it becomes easier: Nothing is set in stone. Every person makes a million decisions every day that alter the course of their universe, and others’ universes. Those decisions could lead to something you have been working toward being presented to you. But if you are not open to finding it, you might never find it.
Seeking Joy is something that, like being open, is not bred into us all and it’s a damn shame.
One of the things that the Laws of Attraction teaches is that you will bring into your life what you spend your time thinking about. If only it were that easy!
Again, it’s a mind-set shift, and it takes time. I believe the first time I was truly able to do this was when I received a bonus at work, and finally got to pay off a credit card that had been lingering for far too long. I stared at the payment screen for a solid 5 minutes, at the 0.00 balance owed, and took great joy in it. My heart felt light, and a great burden had been lifted from my shoulders.
Being able to feel that joy shifted my mind-set. I finally understood.
It’s a little harder to do, when you’re angry and frustrated and tumbling down a canyon of despair. I get that. I struggle with that still, fifteen years later. For awhile, I had post-it notes on my desk at home to remind me that I could find happiness somewhere, no matter what. Maybe it takes a minute of quiet thought, maybe it takes an hour of working out, maybe it takes pounding a pillow and wallowing for a couple minutes, but you can always get back to the joy in your life, if you try.
Be Grateful. Be grateful for everything you currently have in your life, or do NOT have in your life, as the case may be. The universe as a whole likes to be appreciated, and if you have a grateful heart, you invite more things to be grateful for into your life.
Right. I know. To some that sounds like new-age hooey, but it’s not, I promise you.
One of the things we’re taught as school children is to think positive. These messages come from your coaches if you played sports, from your band director, your choir instructor, your creative writing teachers, the gym teacher. Believe you can do it, and you can!
Being grateful is much the same as that. Find a good thing in your life, and take a moment to be happy for it. Be thankful that you have this good thing. Do it consistently. Watch your children play if you have them, and be thankful. Look at the money in your bank account and be glad for it. How about your computer or phone you’re reading this on right now? Aren’t you happy you are able to live in a time and place where you can have that?
There is always…ALWAYS…something to be grateful for in your life. Find it, and feel that. I promise you, it’s not new-age hooey.
If you need those words on your wall to remind you, there’s no shame in that. I’ll bet you can find plenty of them at your local Goodwill. Pull yourself up from whatever is ailing you at the moment, and make your own post-it notes. Make a vision board.
You can do it. The Universe and I have faith in you.
